


Over His Head

by Tv_Saved_The_Teenage_Girl



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Drinking, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Love Confessions, M/M, college student John Deacon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-11-16 13:24:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18095144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tv_Saved_The_Teenage_Girl/pseuds/Tv_Saved_The_Teenage_Girl
Summary: When spring break rolls around, John finds he has the apartment all to himself, that is 'till Brian's plans get ruined. With a whole week alone with Brian, will John be able to enjoy his break? or will his emotions finally make themselves known?





	1. Not Funny

**Author's Note:**

> I really just needed John x Brian in my life, and I couldn't find a fic to fulfill my desires, so I'm writing my own. If you know of a cute, fluffy, maybe smutty, breaky story, please send it my way.
> 
> Inspired by this incorrect quote,  
> https://incorrectborhapquotes.tumblr.com/post/183404875436/john-ive-been-dropping-him-the-most-insanely

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really just needed John x Brian in my life, and I couldn't find a fic to fulfill my desires, so I'm writing my own. If you know of a cute, fluffy, maybe smutty, breaky story, please send it my way.
> 
> Inspired by this incorrect quote,  
> https://incorrectborhapquotes.tumblr.com/post/183404875436/john-ive-been-dropping-him-the-most-insanely

“What do you mean?” John asked, a dumbfounded look on his face as he glared across the table at Roger.

“As I said, Mary’s family is going down to Brighton for spring break, so Freddie and I are tagging along.” John had just gotten home after a long day of midterm exams when Roger dropped this news on him. He had known Roger was itching to go on a trip, asking John multiple times if he wanted to head off somewhere for the week, but John’s answer had always been the same. He didn’t have the money for it. He shouldn’t really have been so surprised when he found some plans to jump in on. “We’re leaving in an hour, are you coming with?”

The hopeful look on Roger’s face made it harder to deny him, but it really was out of the question. John didn’t have much money and what little he did have he needed to save.

“I’m sorry, Rog. I can’t.” John sighed, leaving the table he began to walk towards his room.

“Are you sure?” Roger followed him, throwing himself down on John’s bed. “Think of all the cute girls!” John chuckled at his friends attempt to persuade him. Little did he know that wasn’t exactly the selling point he needed.

“Come on, you know I can’t. Now get the fuck out of my room, shouldn’t you be packing?” Instantly Roger shot up, bolting out of John’s room.

“Oh, shit.”

Truthfully, John did wish he could go, but at the same time, this meant he’d have the apartment all to himself. With Freddie and Roger in Brighton and Brian off with his family, his mood instantly lifted just thinking about it. Don’t get him wrong, he loved his bandmates, they had only been living together for a year, but they had quickly become his second family. On the other hand, Roger didn’t know the definition of privacy, Fred was always trying to get them to try new things, and Brian...well he was a whole other topic.

The first time Roger had proposed moving in together, John was nervous. It was hard enough being in a band with Brian, but having to live with him? Not only did the two of them bicker all the time, but it was growing increasingly harder to deny his attraction to the older boy. Living with him didn’t help, seeing him step out of the bathroom in just a towel, skin glistening as water dripped from his wet curls. The first time it happened John had dreams for weeks. What was worse was seeing him bring girls home, seeing him leave his room afterward, looking well fucked, his face flushed.

You’d think their regular arguments would help deter his feelings, but they really just fueled them. Brian was always so sure of his ways, could say and do no wrong, fights with him were infuriating, leaving John wanting to rip his hair out. He had never wanted to fuck someone so badly. To just walk across the room and shut the older boy up. How he remained his composure this long was an honest mystery to him.

Brian had left that morning, and an hour later, Freddie and Roger we’re out the door, leaving John all on his own. What a lovely, early birthday present.

Normally, they would head down to the pub, but since it was just him, and he wasn’t in the mood for socializing, John decided to head down to the shops, picking up a few bottles of liquor for the week. It was far cheaper than the pub anyways. Unlocking the door, John had a big smile on his face as he stepped into the apartment, a smile that instantly fell when he saw Brian on the couch. The older boy was slouched, focused on the tv when his head snapping at the sudden noise.

“What are you doing here?” John asked as he locked the door behind him, trying to sound as neutral as he could. Walking into the kitchen, he placed his bags down. Brian let out a groan, which went straight to John’s dick, not that he’d ever admit to it.

“My parents decided to go on a trip without me this year,” Brian appeared in the doorway, his forehead pressed to the wall. “Something which they forgot to inform me about.” John couldn’t help but giggle. “It’s not funny, Deaky. I got all the way home and they were gone. I had to find out from a neighbor.” Biting his lip to keep from laughing, John pulled out a bottle of vodka.

“Sounds like you need a drink.” Smiling slightly, Brian sat down while John grabbed two glasses.

“Where are the others?” Brian asked, grabbing the bottle and filled the empty cups.

“They went to Brighton for the week.” Sitting across from Brian, John grabbed his glass, taking a long sip.

“I thought they were staying here?”

“It was a last minute decision, they tagged along with Mary’s family.” Brian hummed, taking a drink as well.

“And you stayed?”

“I thought I’d have the apartment to myself.” John shrugged, seeing no reason to lie. Brian began to laugh.

“So both our spring break plans have been ruined?” John couldn’t help but laugh with him.

“It’s not funny, May.” Quickly, Brian’s giggles subsided.

“No, no not at all.” His straight face lasted one and a half seconds before he began laughing even harder. John would never admit it, but Brian’s laughter was his favorite sound. The way it would erupt from the older boy as he tried to hold back, ultimately overcome by humor. The way his eyes would crinkle as his curls bounced along with his shoulders. Looking away, John finished his drink before standing up.

“Well, I’m off to bed.”

“Already?” Brian whined, something he’d never heard the older boy do before, something he wished he could hear over and over again.

“I had exams all day, unlike some people.” John rolled his eyes, placing his glass in the sink before turning back to face the older boy.

“That’s not my fault. Why weren’t you born earlier?” Brian laughed, finishing his drink as he stood, walking over to John.

“Well, gee. Why hadn’t I thought of that.” Suddenly, John’s heart began to beat faster as Brian slowly approached him, reaching around John to place his glass in the sink, never breaking eye contact.

“You know you’d be lost without me.” Ruffling John’s hair, Brian turned to leave the kitchen. “Thanks for the drink, Deaks. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Brian.” John let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. Sighing as he made his way to his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr @  
> word-babble.tumblr.com  
> Or  
> tv-saved-the-teenage-girl.tumblr.com


	2. It’s Gene Kelly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yup. Not gonna lie, I laughed a lot while I was editing this chapter, these two are such idiots 
> 
> Inspired by this incorrect quote,  
> https://incorrectborhapquotes.tumblr.com/post/183404875436/john-ive-been-dropping-him-the-most-insanely

 

When John threw his alarm clock across the room at four am, he realized he’d forgotten to turn it off, groaning as he rolled over in bed, shoving his face in his pillows.

“Oh good, you’re awake.” Brian’s voice boomed as he opened John’s door. “I was wondering if you were going to eat your last piece of toast or…?” Throwing a pillow, John effectively hit Brian in the face.

“If you fucking touch my toast you’re a dead man, May.” John mumbled, burrowing further under the blankets.

“Alright.” Brian laughed lightly, tossing the pillow back. Standing in the doorway a second longer, Brian admired John’s sleeping form, the younger boy always looked so peaceful when he wasn’t awake to make snarky remarks. Quietly, he closed the door, leaving him.

~

John finally rolled out of bed around noon, adorned in boxers, an old shirt, and bedhead. He made his way into the kitchen to find his toast was still there. Brian would live to see another day. But as John sat at the kitchen table, he realized he might not last the week, as Brian stepped out of the bathroom with just a towel wrapped around his waist. Damn him, it was like he knew.

“I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever come out.” The double meaning caused John to choke on his toast. If this was how he was going to die, he had to admit it wasn’t a bad way to go, seeing Brian rush over to him. The older boy began patting his back. “Are you ok?!”

“Wrong pipe.” John coughed. “Also, it’s spring break, Brian. Sleep in, live a little.” Deciding he was fine, Brian began walking back towards his room.

“Couldn’t, had to go to work this morning.” He was gone for a minute, stepping back into the kitchen wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants that hid nothing.

“Didn’t you ask for the week off?” John questioned.

“Yeah, but they were short staffed today and I was here, so.” Brian shrugged, taking a seat next to John. “Do you have any plans for the week?” Swallowing his last bite, John shook his head.

“Nope.” He smiled, leaning back in his chair. It had been a while since he didn’t have any plans, with school and the band, there was always something he had to do. The fact that he had an open schedule was thrilling.

“Well, there’s this nature walk going on today. I was going to go, do you want to come with me?” Frowning, John moved to clean up the mess he’d made. Of course, Brian had to be nice and inclusive, even though John knew the last thing the older boy would want was to drag him along, having to explain everything. Or maybe that’s exactly why he was inviting him, so he could rub his knowledge in John’s face.

“No offense, Brian,” John started, knowing he’d regret his words later. “But a boring nature walk doesn’t exactly sound like my idea of a good time.”  

“Well gee, John. Tell me how you really feel.” Brian grumbled.

“When I said I didn’t have any plans, I meant my plan was to not have any plans. So thanks for the invite, but I’m going to have to decline.” John’s back was turned towards Brian so he didn’t have to see the older boy’s face.

“Fine, have it your way.” He heard Brian get up, heading to his room before closing the door. John sighed as he began cleaning his dishes.

The thought of going somewhere with just Brian and seeing the older boys eyes light up while he talked about topics that fascinated him was too much. For a year now, John had been sending him messages, hints, in hopes for something, anything, some kind of sign to be given back. But the older boy never seemed interested in him like that, and John couldn’t handle pining for him anymore. Though his words might come off harsh at times, he only ever did it to protect himself, to create some distance so that when his heart finally broke it wouldn’t hurt as bad. But when Brian left an hour later, John knew he didn’t have to be so mean.

~

When seven o’clock rolled around and Brian had yet to come home, John decided it was time to make dinner. Leaving a plate for Brian in the fridge, John went back to the living room, this time with a bottle of vodka. The words he had spoken earlier sat on his tongue, sour and bitter as he tried to wash them away with every swig he took, but the guilt he felt only grew. Brian had been nothing but nice to him all day and John had only been mean. Sometimes he wondered if half of their arguments came from John’s obsessive need to hide his feelings.

When Brian finally came home, he found John on the floor in front of the couch, with a more than half empty bottle of vodka in his hand, passionately watching ‘Singing In the Rain’.

“I’m just saying, there is no way Kathy didn’t want a piece of him the moment she saw him.” John mumbled at the TV, giving Brian no mind. Locking the door, Brian took off his jacket and shoes, walking further into the room.

“You know they can’t hear you, right bud?” Brian asked, taking a seat on the couch. It wasn’t the first time he had seen John drunk, but it was the first time he had found him drinking alone. Usually, Roger or Freddie would end up taking care of him, not Brian. John turned his gaze to the older boy.

“Yeah, but you have to admit, a handsome man jumps into your car and gives you a smile like that, who are you to deny him?”

“I think she has every right to deny him, what if he’s not her type.” John rolled his eyes, taking a sip from his bottle.

“That’s not even a question, it’s Gene Kelly. Who’s type isn’t Gene Kelly?”

“Everyone has different tastes, John.” Brian looked at the younger boy, confused by his words.

“You’re telling me, right now, that Gene Kelly isn’t attractive?”

“He’s attractive, sure, but just because someone is good looking doesn’t mean everyone wants to have sex with them.” Brian stated, causing John to give him a dumbfounded look like it was the first time he had realized being attractive didn’t mean everybody wanted you. “Are you telling me you’d sleep with Gene Kelly if he jumped into your car?” Brian asked, trying to lighten the mood.

“What if that is what I’m saying, Brian?” John challenged him. “What if I’m telling you I find men attractive?” Brian was silent for a moment.

“I’d tell you everyone has different tastes, John, and that’s fine.” Brian shrugged, looking down at the wide-eyed boy. John blinked a few times, trying to process what had just happened. Had he really just admitted he liked men? “What is this about, Deaks?” The older boy asked, leaning forward to take the bottle away from John. “You seem upset about something, and I don’t think it’s because Kathy didn’t jump Don’s bones the minute she saw him.” A small laugh escaped John, still baffled by the fact that he had just come out to Brian, a weight began to lift off of him.

“Um, no. I’m fine.” John shook his head as he tried to stand up, but quickly became dizzy, falling onto the couch.

“Bull shit, what’s wrong?” Brian asked again, causing John to let out a heavy sigh. Raising his hands to cover his face, he decided to get it off his chest.

“The guy I have a crush on doesn’t like me back.” He groaned, waiting to be ridiculed.

“Are you sure he doesn’t like you?” John heard Brian earnestly reply. Peeking through his fingers, he realized the older boy was waiting for him to answer.

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve been dropping him the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.” John’s hands fell into his lap as he shrugged.

“Wow,” Brian grinned. “He sounds stupid.”

“But he’s not. He’s really smart actually.” A smile grew on John’s face as he shook his head. “Just dense.”

“Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know…” Placing his hands on John's shoulders, Brian began to shake him. “Hey! I like you!” They both began to laugh as Brian let the younger boy go.

“I guess you’re right…” John bit his lip, debating his next words. “Hey, Brian! I like you.”

“See? Just like that!” Brian stood as he began walking towards the kitchen.

“You can’t be fucking serious?” John groaned, throwing his head back in defeat.

“If that flies over his head then, sorry Deaky, but he is too dumb for you.” Brian’s voice carried over from the kitchen.

“I left you some dinner in the fridge.” John called out.

“Thanks, Deaks!” Brian pulled the food out and began heating it up. Picking up the bottle, John took a giant swig as he entered the kitchen. Still bemused by Brians ignorance. “Hey, buddy.” Brian walked over to the younger boy, taking the bottle away from him again. “Don’t you think you’ve had enough for one night? You can barely stand.” John immediately tried to take the bottle back, but Brian held it over his head.

“Oh, fuck you, May. You’re not my mother! Give it back.” John whined as he began jumping up, desperately trying to take hold of it again.

“No.” Brian grinned down at the boy.

“Don’t be such a dick! It’s my fucking vodka, I bought it with my money! I can do as I’d like with it!” He slurred as he continued to jump, only causing the older boy to laugh harder. Then John stopped abruptly, his face going pale before he ran off to the bathroom. Brian was confused for a second, placing the bottle on the table before he realized what was happening.

Quickly, Brian followed John into the bathroom, holding the younger boys hair back as he threw up. Brian tried to soothe him, rubbing his back, telling him it was going to be ok. When he was finally done, John flushed the toilet, sitting back against the tub, he wiped his mouth as tears streamed down his face. “I’m sorry.” He sobbed.

“Hey, no. It’s ok, bud.” Brian leaned forward from where he was crouched, wiping the tears from John's eyes. “We’ve all had a bit too much, it’s alright.”

“No, I mean for what I said earlier.” John hiccuped. “I don’t think your nature walks are boring. I didn’t mean it, Bri.”

“What?” Brian’s eyebrows furrowed.

“I’m sorry, please don’t be mad at me.” The younger boy began crying harder. “I really didn’t mean it.” Grabbing John’s arm, Brian hoisted him up. He had already forgotten the conversation they had had earlier, not thinking anything of John’s harsh words, it wasn’t like it was out of the ordinary. Brian knew the boy sometimes said things he didn’t really mean, but he didn’t know John was this upset about it. Brian pulled the younger boy’s toothbrush out and piled on a generous amount of toothpaste.

“John, I know.” Running the toothbrush under water before handing it to the boy. “Here, brush.” John didn’t question him, doing as he was told, still hiccuping. “I know you didn’t mean it, bud. How could you think I was mad at you? Is this what you were really upset about?” John just nodded, leaning over to rinse his mouth out before putting his toothbrush away. “John, I’m not mad at you and I am not upset with you.” A look of relief washed over the younger boy who was obviously still drunk.

“You didn’t come home ‘till late, and I thought when you told me Gene Kelly wasn’t hot that you were just upset with me.” John slurred.

“What?” Brian couldn’t help begin to laugh, causing the younger boy to smile. “You thought I was saying he wasn’t hot because I wanted to pick a fight?”

“Well, yeah. I mean...It’s Gene Kelly.”

“As you’ve said, but Gene Kelly really isn’t my type.” Brian shrugged while John’s stomach flipped. Taking hold of John’s shoulders, Brian steered him into his room, pulling out Johns pajamas. All the while, John stood wondering what exactly Brian’s type was. “Here.” The older boy said, handing him his clothes before leaving the room. John stripped, throwing his old clothes aside as he slipped into the clean ones Brian gave him, finishing just as the older boy walked back into the room, carrying a glass of water and some pills. “Take these, it should help with the wonderful hangover you’re going to have tomorrow, and finish the water.”

“Thanks, Bri.” John took the glass from him. Then Brian did something he’s never done before, reaching his hand up, he brushed John’s hair behind his ear, his thumb stroking the younger boy’s cheek as he did so. For a second John forgot how to breathe, and with those hazel eyes looking at him with such intent, it didn’t help.

“I could never be mad at you, not truly, not forever. Now, get some rest. Ok, Deaks?” Nodding his head, it was all he could manage to do. “Goodnight.” Brian kissed his forehead and then he was gone, leaving John standing there for a few minutes, stunned.

He knew someday Brian would find out about the true nature of his sexuality, but he always assumed the older boy would be disgusted or upset, and he especially never expected him to show that kind of affection after he found out. But as John fell asleep with a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest, for the first time in a long time, he was hopeful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there that is. Tbh, I hate confrontation so much, as you can tell by how light and dumb the "angst" is in this fic. (If you've never seen Singing In the Rain and or don't know who Gene Kelly is...my b, but also what are you doing? We need to fix that.)
> 
> Also  
> "Will Brian ever stop giving drunk people glasses of water?" The answer is no. Brian's second dream, his first was becoming a penguin, is to be a waterboy. Sorry to break it to you.


	3. Special’s A Word For It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!!! Chapter three is finally here! Thanks for your patience, my loves.
> 
> I am quite literally falling asleep as I write this, so, I'm sorry.

When his alarm went off at four am...again, John couldn’t help but lie there for a moment in self-hatred. Groaning, he sat up, instantly regretting last night’s decisions. Brian was right about him having a hangover, but it wasn’t as bad as they usually were. Abruptly springing out of bed, John grabbed the alarm clock, opening his bedroom door to chuck it out into the hallway. Instead, he ended up pelting Brian in the chest.

“Ow! Deaky!” Brian shrieked, trying to avoid the flying object and failing. “What the hell?” The mistake shook John from his sleepy state, his eyes going wide as Brian stood in the hallway rubbing his bare chest.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there.” Shaking his head, Brian began to laugh as he started to walk back towards his room.

“I was just going to see how you were, but I guess you’re fine.”

“Sorry!” John called out as Brian closed his door, turning around to do the same. At least the alarm stopped beeping.

~

After assaulting Brian, John was only able to sleep ‘till eight o’clock, not for lack of trying. The faint smell of food was what finally broke him, pulling him from the warm cocoon of blankets and into the kitchen. Brian stood over the stove, flipping a pancake as he looked up.

“Morning, Deaks.” The older boy gave him an easy smile before turning back to what he was doing. “There is fresh coffee in the pot.” Brian motioned with his elbow and John hummed in response, grabbing a cup before sitting down at the table.

“Mornin, Bri.” He mumbled between sips, the coffee slowly working to wake him. Setting down a plate in front of John, Brian served him a generous stack of pancakes, accompanied by a worried look.

“How much of last night do you remember?” The older boy asked, making a plate for himself before sitting down across from John.

“All of it, why?” John asked, confused by the concern laced in Brian’s voice as he rubbed his temples. That is ‘till he remembered a certain major secret he had casually revealed. “Oh! That...yeah I remember.” Instantly, Brian seemed relieved, taking a big bite of his pancakes.

“So, are you going to tell me who this mystery man is or are you keeping me in the dark?” The older boy gave him a wide grin causing John’s heart to beat faster. “He must be special if he was able to knock you off your feet.” Sighing, John began to eat as well.

“Yeah, special’s a word for it.” He coughed, but Brian looked as though he was waiting for an answer John wasn’t ready to give out quite yet. “Um...I’m sorry, again, for hitting you this morning...and for last night.” Suddenly, John couldn’t look the older boy in the eyes. A feeling of guilt mixed with something unknown was too much, he had been such a hassle and here Brian was, making him pancakes. But then Brian was laughing, the sound coaxing the younger boy to look up.

“Seriously, John. It’s fine.” The older boy assured him, his gaze falling down to his plate. One of Brian’s hands was wrapped around his mug, his fingers absentmindedly running over the handle. “But, there is this exhibit going on tonight...and I wouldn’t mind the company.” His eyes flicked back up to rest on John’s features. If John didn’t know Brian, he’d say the older boy was doing his best at giving him a puppy-dog look

“I’d love too.” John tried to give the older boy a convincing smile, which rapidly turned into a real one at the sight of excitement that crossed Brian’s features.

“Really?” Brian asked, his eyes were filled with hope.

“Of course.” The younger boy laughed, trying and failing, to hide his own amusement. John would give anything to make Brian happy, if going to an exhibit was the price, he’d pay it tenfold. “Where is it?” Bringing up his mug, John took a sip of his coffee, if only to give his hands something to do.

“It’s at the observatory. I figured we could go after dinner if that’s alright with you?” Shrugging, Brian took another bite of his food, his fingers tapping on the table.

“Yeah! That sounds great, Bri.” Giving the older boy an easy smile, John began eating as well, trying not to think about what he had just agreed to.

~

After cleaning up the kitchen, John decided to set up camp on the couch, while Brian retreated to his room. Not having the older boy around was a major relief to John, allowing him to think for a second. Was it possible to be excited about something while dreading it at the same time? John’s knee was bouncing while his glazed eyes were trained to the TV in front of him, but his mind was at war.

On one hand, the last thing John needed was to fall deeper down this hole he’d found himself in. At times he felt he could see a light, that maybe his feelings would pass and everything would be fine, but then Brian would laugh or argue with him, only causing him to fall further. He’d been fighting his feelings for over a year now and it hasn't gotten easier. On the other hand, the thought of going to an observatory with Brian was exhilarating. Not only would it just be the two of them, but they would be in Brian’s element. He could only imagine how excited the older boy will be as he looks at everything, John was royally fucked, to say the least. He’d be amazed if he could keep his hands off the older boy before the end of the night.

Before John could wrangle his thoughts, Brian came out of his room. Taking a seat on the opposite end of the couch, he was wearing those same damn sweatpants again, his nose in abook. His brows furrowed as he focuses on the words before him, paying no mind to John or the movie playing on the TV. They stayed like this for a while, sitting in each others company without exchanging a word, John almost sighed. It was just like what they would do when Freddie and Roger were out at clubs, Brian and John would be home, studying in silence together. John was beginning to miss the silent company, worried he’d have to fill the air with trivial words, but with Brian focused on his book and John focused on the movie, it was practically the same.

Well, let’s be honest. John wasn’t exactly focused on the movie, but it wasn’t like it was his fault. How could he? With Brian sitting there, his legs outstretched, feet resting on the coffee table as he leaned back, only moving to turn the page. In John’s stolen glances, he could see Brian’s face change every so often, reacting to whatever he just read. It was embarrassing how long John could watch Brian read and not get bored.

Deciding he couldn’t take the distraction any longer, John got up to play a movie he knew he wouldn’t be able to ignore. Forcing his body to face the TV completely, John brought his knees up to his chest as the movie started playing, already completely engrossed in the film. That’s why he doesn’t realize right away when Brian put his book down, but eventually he does, the new knowledge causing him to blush for some reason. The older boy had never really shown an interest in John’s movie habits, the fact that he was actually spending time with him was enough to get the boy hot and bothered.

If only he knew that Brian wasn’t really paying much attention to the film, but rather to John. Studying the younger boy’s face as he reacted to the movie. A small smile tugged at the corners ofBrian’s lips as the story began reaching its climax, despite having seen this movie plenty of times, John was still at the edge of his seat. Brian would never admit how endearing he found it to be.

“You’re watching ‘Rebel Without a Cause’ again?” Trying but failing to hide the amusement in his voice, Brian watched as John peeled his eyes from the screen to look at him.

“Brian, we're going to the observatory, I have to watch it,” John replied as if it was a perfectly reasonable explanation.

“Do you always choose your movies based off of the days' events?” Brian asked sincerely causing John to roll his eyes. “Or did you just want to see James Dean smolder for the 1,000th time?” Gasping, John kicked Brians leg while the older boy was overcome with laughter.

“Fuck off, May! James Dean is a fantastic actor.”

“I didn’t say he wasn’t,” Raising his hands in protest, Brian continued to laugh. “I’m just saying, I’m begging to see a type.” John couldn’t help the embarrassed grin that spread across his face, accompanied by a deep blush.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” By this time, the credits were rolling, but John tried his best to pretend like he was more interested in the scrolling text then Brian.

“Oh, please. First, it was Gene Kelly, now James Dean? Dark haired heartthrobs.” Turning to look at Brian, John’s mouth fell open.

“Are you telling me you don’t think James Dean is attractive?!” Throwing his head back, Brian let out a groan.

“John, for the last time, just because someone is good looking, it does not mean everyone wants to sleep with them.”

“B-but,…it’s _James Dean_.”

“That was the same argument you had for Gene Kelly.” Brian laughed, looking over at the younger boy. “Also, you have a thing for older men. Did you realize that there is a twenty year age gap between Don and Kathy? Twenty years, John.” John’s mouth went dry. Surely, Brian had no clue of John’s feelings, but he must realize that he himself fits these categories.

“Do you have a problem with me liking older men?” The younger boy asked, his heart beating rapidly. But it was clear Brian didn’t understand the weight his words had on John’s emotions.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. Unless the guy is twenty years older then you, then I’d have a problem.” Brian looked off in disgust. “That’s too big of a gap. Four years? Sure. Twenty? No way.” The older boy continued talking, but John was too distracted.

‘Four years’, John honed in on those words. Out of all the numbers, Brian said four. Four, the exact number of years between them. Something he’d spent nights thinking about. Worried that it might be too big of a gap, and there Brian was, saying four years was fine. Four years. Then John remembered to breathe.

“So I’m not trying to tell you who you can or can’t date. I’m just saying, as a friend, twenty years is just too much.” He heard the tail end of Brian’s rambling.

“I agree, Brian. At least for me, personally, twenty years is too much. But that is the only thing I can agree on.” John finally spoke. “I still can’t understand how James Dean isn’t attractive.” With a heavy sigh and a slight smile, Brian stood up, stretching his limbs.

“As I said, Gene Kelly, James Dean, not really my type.” Before John could ask what exactly his type was, Brian spoke again. “Now, I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. When’s dinner?” The older boy asked, heading into the kitchen. With a heavy sigh of his own, John made his way into the kitchen to wash his hands.

Out of the four boys, John was the one who seemed to do most of the cooking. One would think that since he was the youngest and last to join that he wouldn’t know as much as the others, but that wasn’t the case. Not only could John handle the band's finances, but he was also a genius in the kitchen. Meaning he knew how to cook a nice meal on a budget, something he was sure none of his bandmates new how to do. If it wasn’t for John, he was sure they wouldn’t eat a single, well-rounded meal till they headed home for the holidays. Nudging Brian out of the way, John began pulling ingredients out of the fridge.

“Can I help?” The older boy asked, watching John move about the small kitchen.

“Sure,” Pausing to look up, the younger boy handed Brian a knife. “Chop up those vegetables for me.”

Brian did as he was told, washing his hands as well before he began cutting up the vegetables John put before him. The two boys standing side by side as they used what little counter space they had, their arms rubbing together as they worked. Suddenly, the room was becoming too hot for John, it must have been the stove. Working in silence, they finished dinner fast. Brian wasn’t lying when he said he was hungry, the boy practically inhaled the food causing him to choke a few times. John couldn’t help but laugh at him.

All too soon they were cleaning up, getting ready to head out. As John stood in front of his bedroom mirror, he swallowed thickly. Knowing he wasn’t prepared to fall further for Brian, but realizing it was already happening every minute he was alone with the older boy.

“Are you ready?” Brian asked as he stood by the door.

“Yeah,” Nodding his head, John grabbed his jacket before walking out after Brian, locking the door. Maybe it would have cost him less if he had gone on that trip with Roger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I write John as a movie-loving dork but,,,that's how I see him


	4. The Whole Galaxy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 4 is finally here! I'd like to remind everyone I know jack shit about space. So all these terms, if they're wrong, I'm sorry. I know the facts are bound to be off, but like let's not think about it. Part 5 should be the last one, thanks for your patience!!!

 

Walking side by side into the planetarium, John looked around at the mass of people. He should’ve guessed there would be more people than usual, given its spring break and there was a special exhibit going on. John had been to the planetarium once before, his father had brought him here when he was too young to remember much, except for how in awe of everything he was. Then someone bumped his shoulder, nearly knocking the younger boy over and he was reminded why he didn’t like coming to these things. John’s social anxiety and claustrophobia were never higher than in crowds like these.

Then, suddenly, Brian’s hand was pressed against John’s back. The gesture was friendly, Brian’s gaze was still trained straight ahead, but it was surprisingly calming. Brian’s touch was like a rope that tethered around his chest, keeping him steady as the sea of people rippled past.

“This is it,” Brian steered John towards the roped off section and presented a ticket to the teenaged employee. Crossing the threshold, the room was a lot less crowded than the lobby. “This exhibit is for members only, so it’s less busy.” The older boy added, noticing John’s confusion.

“Oh,” Letting his hand fall, Brian began walking over to the first wall of information. “Wait, how can you afford a membership?” John asked, joining him.

“I can’t,” The older boy scoffed, glancing at him. “A group of us in my astronomy course share a membership. There are seven of us, so it cuts the cost quite a bit.” Nodding his head, John hummed.

“That’s smart,” Walking off, John started to look at the models of stars and the many pictures they had hung up before he was stopped by Brian’s hand grabbing his arm.

“What are you doing?” The younger boy looked at him with a perplexed expression.

“Looking around.”

“But you’re not reading anything, how will you know what you’re looking at?”

“I don’t know.” John shrugged. “I mean…I’ll skim the text.” Shutting his eyes, Brian pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head.

“Alright, come on,” The older boy, still holding onto his arm, began to drag John back towards the entrance. “We’re starting from the beginning and I’ll explain everything as we go.” Obediently following Brian’s pull, John couldn’t fight the smile that was beginning to spread across his face.

“Like my own personal tour-guide?” Turning back to look at the younger boy, Brian found John grinning up at him.

“Shut up,” Brian said, but the smile on his face gave him away. “Now, you know how our sun is a dying star?” The older boy asked, looking down at John before returning his focus to the image before them. It was just a picture of a white circle against a black background.

“Yes, of course.” John rolled his eyes, his gaze rested on the older boy’s features.

“Well, this is the first photograph ever taken of the sun.” Furrowing his brows, John looked at the image again. “It doesn’t look like much, but it _was_ the first, taken in 1845. It was pretty revolutionary for the time.”

Moving a step further, they were faced with a more current photo. One that showed the swirling colors John knew so well. He could practically feel the heat radiating off the image. The vibrant reds, oranges, and yellows mixed together to form such a vital part of humanity.

“The sun is over 4 billion years old. Older than the Moon, the earth, and our solar system.” Turning away from the image, Brian began to move again. “It’s about halfway through with its life. After 10 billion years, it won’t be an ‘adult’ star anymore and slowly the sun will begin to expand, eventually destroying Mercury, Venus and even Earth in its wake.” Stopping in his tracks, Brian looked back at John. “But we’ll be long dead by then.”

“Oh, good,” John replied sarcastically, following closely behind the older boy as he expertly led them through the rooms, explaining image after image, barely having to glance at the plaques they had out.

~

There was something about Brian’s voice. Normally, when John would read the information himself, he’d lose interest pretty fast, but having Brian there to explain everything, it was different. The older boy could be talking about anything and John would be hopelessly captivated. Mesmerized by the way his lips moved around the syllables, the way his tongue danced around the words, the way his eyes lit up. Before he knew it, they had made their way through the whole exhibit. What probably took at least an hour, felt like ten seconds, and all too soon they were being spat back out into the common area. John almost got swallowed up by the crowd, but Brian’s hand was back on him.

“How are there still so many people here?” John whispered as Brian began maneuvering them through the sea of people. “And children at that. It’s almost eleven o’clock, shouldn’t they be in bed?” Following John’s gaze, the older boy began to laugh.

“Are you referring to that group of twelve-year-olds?” Brian asked, amused by John’s discomfort. The younger boy just grunted in response. “Come on, grumpy. There’s something I wanted to show you.” Steering John away from the masses, Brian opened a door that looked extremely off limits.

“Uh, look, Bri. While this is all good and fun, I don’t exactly want to be kicked out of the planetarium.” John began slowing down his pace as Brian led him through the dimly lit hallway.

“What?” The older boy seemed confused by John’s uncertainty before he looked around and began laughing again. “Oh, no. I know someone who works here, she’s expecting us.”

“Oh…ok” John sighed in relief, trying not to give away the twinge of jealousy that he felt. _She. Who is she? Do you think she’s cute? Are you dating her? Do you want to date her?_ So many thoughts spun around in his mind as they continued down the corridor.

Pushing open another door, they saw a woman hunched over a table, jotting stuff down before her gaze shifted up to meet them. John had to admit, this woman was stunning, to say the least. Her skin was a gorgeous tanned color, dark wavy locks brushed against her shoulders and her eyes were the most stunning shade of green he’d ever seen, and then she smiled. A smile that reached her eyes as she made her way over to them, giving Brian a delighted hug before ruffling his hair. There was no way Brian wasn’t attracted to this woman. No way.

“Hey, spaceman. You made it just in time, I was about to close up shop.” Her voice was like tainted glass, sending a chill down John’s spine.

“This early?” Brian laughed, walking further into the room. Then her eyes shifted towards John.

“This must be the famous Deaky!” She smiled wider, giving him a hug as well. “I’ve heard so much about you.”

“All bad things I presume.” John chuckled, blushing slightly. Brian talked about him?

“Not all bad things.” She said with a sly smile. “I’m Janet, by the way. It’s nice to meet you.” Before John could reply, Brian’s voice interrupted them.

“Hey, Deaks. Come over here.” Brian waved him over to where he was standing. A telescope stood in the middle of the room, aimed pointedly towards the night sky. “Here, have a look.” Brian moved away from the telescope so John could look through it.

“Woah…What am I looking at, Bri?” The younger boy asked in amazement. Before him, he could see a ball of light shrouded by what looked like red and orange dust.

“It’s the Dumbbell Nebula. You know how I said the sun’s adult faze would only last for another 5 billion years or so?”

“Yeah,” John replied, not looking away.

“Well, when that happens the sun will discard its outer layers, creating a colorful shell of diffuse gas that's known as a planetary nebula. Looking a lot like the Dumbbell Nebula looks now.” Finally shifting his gaze, John moved so the older boy could look through the telescope again. “Before that happens though, the sun will expand and turn into a red giant, consuming Venus. But once it burns through, it will collapse, creating that vibrant shell.” He spoke as he looked on in awe.

John would never admit it, but watching Brian talk about space was more breathtaking than any dying star in the whole galaxy. And as he watched the older boys curls brush up against the telescope as he crouched to get a better look, John couldn’t help the warmth that spread through his chest. Then Janet cleared her throat, snapping John out of his trance.

“While I’m all for education, I’m afraid it’s time for you boys to leave.” She smiled at John once more. “Again, it was lovely to have finally met you. Brian has told me so much,” Before she could continue saying any more, Brian grabbed John’s arm.

“Alright. Ok. Yes, thank you, Janet. We’re going now. Have a good night.” The older boy hurriedly replied as he began to lead John out of the room.

“You boys stay out of trouble.”

“No promises.” John quipped, giving her a warm smile in return as the door closed.

As they made their way back to the lobby, the planetarium was practically empty, a stark contrast to what it was only a few moments ago. Easily finding the exit, they piled into Brian’s car and headed for home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Space nerd Bri gives me life and you can pry his spaceman ways from my cold dead hands


	5. It’s Me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hey, hey! Today is the day for the last chapter! I hope y'all enjoyed the Brian/John experience! I'm sorry It's taken me so long to finish <3
> 
> The incorrect quote I used in this chapter -   
> https://scubyrojo.tumblr.com/post/181987212913/family-queen72

As they drove home against a backdrop of streetlights, a slight drizzle began to paint the windows of the small car. The air between them was filled with a comfortable silence, but there was a question burning up in John that couldn’t be stifled. Though he tried. Unconsciously sitting on his hands, John chewed at his lip, mulling over his words as they turned sour with every passing second, ‘till he could keep them no longer.

“So, Janet, she’s cute.” He tried to sound as even-toned as possible, regretting his words as soon as they left his lips. Brian just hummed. “Are you two..?” John trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to know the answer.

“No! Hahaha, no.” Brian answered all too quickly, shaking his head. “She’s just a good friend.” Furrowing his brows, John gave Brian a sideways glance.

“Really? Because she seemed awful happy to see you.” A deep sigh emitted from the older boy, his grip on the steering wheel tightened slightly as he pulled into his parking space.

“Yeah, Deaks. She is just a friend.” Desperate to ditch the conversation, Brian was fast to get out of the car heading towards the stairwell while John followed a step behind.

“Alright…I was just wondering,” Unlocking their apartment door, they both hung their jackets, locking up for the night. “Because she’s very attractive.” John quietly added, kicking himself as soon as he said it.

“Damn it, John!” Brian turned to face the younger boy, exasperated by his persistence. “What is with you and “attractive” people lately? Specifically, why do you keep insisting I shag any societally attractive person you see?” The older boy’s voice rose slightly as he confronted an open-mouthed John.

 _‘Because if I knew exactly_ _who you found attractive, I could understand why I’m not good enough.’_ The younger boy thought but didn’t dare say. Instead, he licked his lips, swallowing thickly.“I don’t know what you're talking about.” He lied as he walked away from the conversation and into the kitchen to put the kettle on, but Brian wasn’t going to let it go that easily.

“What do you mean _you don’t know_?” Brian huffed. “You’ve been pointing out conventionally attractive people to me all week.” Opening a cabinet, the older boy pulled out two mugs. “And now you’re insisting I like Janet simply because she’s attractive.” Crossing his arms, Brian leaned against the counter, but John continued to keep his gaze on the kettle.

“I was just wondering. There are plenty of other reasons I could be asking.” The younger boy replied defensively. “I mean, for one, she’s smart. She’s also a seemingly kind, warm-hearted person with a fun personality. All traits which I assume would appeal to you.” John shrugged, moving the kettle as it began to scream, pouring the scolding liquid into their respective mugs. “She just also happens to be extremely good looking. Pardon me for thinking you’d be interested in that.” As John focused on his task, he didn’t notice the older boy’s gaze soften.

“And what about _you_?” Brian asked, his eyes never leaving the younger boys face. But John misunderstood his meaning.

“What about me? Do I find her attractive? Yes. But she’s not exactly my type.” John replied, setting the kettle down.

“No, I mean what about you? You have all those things. And that’s the point I’ve been trying to make, she’s not my type either.” Brian’s voice was gentle, almost tentative as he spoke. Skipping past the beginning of his sentence, John saw his chance.

“That’s just the thing _I’ve_ been trying to figure out,” The younger boy laughed slightly as he finished making their tea, finally looking up at Brian. “What exactly _is_ your type?” Without so much as a breath, Brian answered him in true.

“You.” The older boy stated, his gaze still watching John’s features, trying to decipher the boy’s emotions. John was silent for a moment, unable to form words, let alone complete a thought while his mind was sent reeling.

“What?” He finally spoke, blinking rapidly as if he could blink away his confusion.

“I said you’re my type, Deaks,” Brian replied, straightening up slightly, unfolding his arms.

“But…W-why?” John stuttered, unable to comprehend what Brian was saying. “I-I’m not attractive…” He muttered unconsciously.

“Says who?” Brian asked, shaking his head slightly as he began to slowly walk over towards John, causing the younger boy to press his back against the counter. “John, how many times do I have to tell you?” The older boy asked softly, stepping even closer to him. “Just because someone is conventionally good looking, it doesn’t mean I want to sleep with them. And just because you don’t consider yourself attractive,” Brian leaned forward to whisper into John’s ear. “It doesn’t negate the fact that I’m dying to fuck you.” A shiver ran down John’s spine as he felt the older boys breath brush his skin, gripping onto the counter to keep himself upright.

“You…what?” How many times had John dreamt about this? How many times did he imagine, running the scenes, over and over, in his head? He must be dreaming. “Do you mean that?” Brian pulled away to look the younger boy in the eyes.

“Yes, of course. John,” The older boy reached up to tuck John’s hair behind his ear. “I think you’re beautiful.” Then a twinge of uncertainty flashed over Brian’s features. “Or am I reading this wrong.” His hand fell from John’s face just as quickly as it came. “I don’t mean to be so forward, I just thought you might have felt the same way.” Brian took a step back. “I guess it was foolish of me to assume I could win over your affection.” Furrowing his brows, John stepped forward, missing Brian’s warmth.

“Win?”

“That boy you’ve had a crush on…” Closing his eyes, John couldn’t fight the toothy grin that began to spread across his face, laughing wholeheartedly.

“Oh, May. You are foolish, but not for the reasons you think you are.” John sighed, his hand came up to grip the front of Brian’s shirt, pulling him down for a kiss. The older boy was stunned at first but quickly reciprocated the action. His hands came to wrap around John, breathing deeply while his head was swimming. Breaking away to rest his forehead against Brian’s, John laughed again. “The boy is you, you fool.” It was Brian’s turn to wear a confused look.

“It’s me? _I’m_ the boy?”

“Yes,” John replied, backing Brian up as they talked. “It’s always been you.” Suddenly, the older boy found himself pinned against the wall. John’s eyes were focused on Brian’s lips. “And you didn’t misread anything.” Then he was kissing him again, John’s hands delved into the older boy’s curls like he’d dreamt of doing so often. One of John’s knees pressed up in-between his legs, causing Brian to whine into the kiss, sending a shock of electricity through the younger boy.

Nipping his way down Brian’s neck, John looked relentlessly for the spot that would drive him wild, spurred on by the older boy’s soft moans. One of Brian’s hands were pressing against Jon’s back as if he couldn’t be close enough to him, his other hand was tangled in the younger boy’s hair. Then John found what he was looking for, causing Brian to involuntarily buck his hips. The older boy could feel John smiling against his skin.

Without warning, Brian spun them around, pinning John’s wrists above him. His lips were on his before John could protest, turning his head to deepen the kiss. As he broke away, he bit John’s lip, pulling lightly before he began kissing down his jaw, nibbling his way to his neck. The hand that wasn’t holding John’s wrists traveled down his body. Brian’s fingers pressed into John’s soft skin, resting on his hip.

“God, I’ve wanted you for so long,” Brian remarked breathlessly against John’s skin, moving to kiss him again. “Your lips feel even better than I imagined.” His words eliciting a whimper from John.

“I’ve wanted you since the first time we argued.” The younger boy gasped as he tried to wiggle from Brian’s hold, desperate to touch him.

“I’ve wanted you since you tripped, walking into auditions.” John’s face flushed.  _Fuck_ , Brian had him beat. Finally, he let go of John’s wrists. The younger boy began pushing Brian towards his bedroom.

“Ok, show off.” Wrapping his arms around John, Brian spun him around so that the younger boy was the one walking backwards.

“I’m just saying,” Brian shrugged, pecking at John’s lips. “I’ve been dreaming of this for a while.” Stopping in the doorway, John leaned against the door frame, looking up into the older boy’s hazel eyes.

“Why didn’t you say anything.” Brian leaned against the other side, taking one of John’s hands into his own, playing with it.

“I didn’t think I was your type.” Dropping his hand, Brian moved closer to John again. “But then I found out you have a thing for older, dark-haired men.” He said with a cheeky grin, lifting John, wrapping his legs around his waist, causing the younger boy to shriek. Carrying him to the bed, Brian crawled over him but was quickly rolled over. John settling his body between the older boys legs, kissing him soundly.

“You’re right,” He sighed, brushing Brian’s curls out of his face. “I do have a thing for older, dark-haired men. And you most definitely are my type.” John smiled as Brian blushed, their limbs intertwined.

~

It was a Thursday afternoon when Mary’s car pulled in front of the boy’s apartment building. Freddie and Roger had returned home a day earlier than planned, much to Roger’s chagrin. Sluggishly, Roger got out of the car, pulling out their bags while Freddie stayed back a second to talk to Mary.

“Thanks for the ride, Mar,” Roger called out.

“No problem, Taylor.” She flashed him a smile as he ran up the stairs. Setting their bags down to unlock the door, Roger stepped into their apartment for a second before stepping back out. Leaving their bags inside by the front door before closing and locking it back up. Flying down the stairs in hopes to catch Mary before she left.

“Hey, Mary. Do you mind dropping us off at the pub?”

“What?” Freddie asked, looking back at the blond with a confused expression. “Rog, I don’t think-”

“Look, mate. We can’t go home.” Roger cut him off.

“Why not?”

“Well…Brian and John are kind of going at it right now.” Freddie’s eyes widened.

“They’re what?!”

“Look, it's not that big a deal.” Roger shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets. “So Brian and John are doing it.”

“I cannot believe you would say that!” Freddie hit his shoulder, completely shocked by Roger’s indifference.

“Sorry.” He threw his hands up in defense. “Brian and John are “making love.””

“That’s not…” Shaking his head, Freddie pinched the bridge of his nose. Leaning through the car window, Roger asked Mary again.

“So, can we get a ride?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments are greatly appreciated!!! I hope you like it so far, this is my first JohnxBrian
> 
>  
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr @  
> word-babble.tumblr.com  
> Or  
> tv-saved-the-teenage-girl.tumblr.com


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